I Probably Shouldn’t Have Done That

Hey, guess what? I wrote a book.

It’s a book of mistakes.

Well, maybe not mistakes. Say instead, gaffes. Well, I’m not comfortable with that word either. Some of my best stories and life experiences come from taking “the road more stupid.” So I collected some of my best mistakes (many documented right here on my blog!) and put together a collection of 25 essays about strange things from my life. Included in this collection of delightful humiliations:

* My ongoing personal history with a blow-up doll named Plastiqua

* The day I spent pretending to be homeless in New York City

* How I celebrated my Moon Recession Birthday

* My very own “Dear Penthouse” experiences

* My domestic abuse fight in front of the Chicago bar known as The Manhole.

* My creepy monkey collection.

Ah, good times. Good times.

Who will enjoy this book? Well, let me see if I can give you some suggestions.

* You’re hilarious cousin you see twice a year. You’d be much closer buddies if time and distance permitted, but all the same you have a sweet connection at family gatherings, share the same weird humor.

* Your ‘naughty’ friends from college. The ones who you used to have adventures with. (Yes, I ended the sentence with a preposition. Get over it.)

* Your best friend.

* Friends who enjoy a good cry. Some stories in this are funny. Some are heartfelt.

* The friends who understand your wild side.

*A bored-reader friend. Someone who complains, ‘There’s nothing new to read out there…’

* Carl Maldenburg of Elmhurst, New Jersey. (Wow, that’s specific, isn’t it?)

With Christmas right around the corner, you can still snag a paperback copy of this book and receive it in plenty of time! In fact, here’s the link to the paperback copy of I Probably Shouldn’t Have Done That. ($9.50 for a paperback book suitable for framing? Wow. *enthusiastic crowd noises go here*)

And if you prefer the Kindle version, here you go.

Thanks for considering the purchase. You won’t regret it. Well, yes, you might. I shouldn’t lie. You might think it’s one of the worst things you ever read, tales assembled by an overweight narcissist who spends too much time looking in the car’s rear view mirror practicing his ‘surprise’ face in case he ever wins an Oscar.

Yes, now that I think about it, this is probably a terrible purchasing decision. You might better spend your dollars going to Arbys and super-sizing their Beef and Cheddar combo.


I probably shouldn’t have said that.

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